The Curious Incident of Orkut in the Night Time

September 9, 2006

It was 7 minutes after midnight. My laptop was lying on the couch in the living room of my house. I opened Mozilla Firefox and then had a look at orkut. Orkut is an online community that connects people through a network of trusted friends. I entered my login and password and got a page asking me to link my gmail account to orkut account. I just could not login how hard I typed.

My name is Kolar Sumanth Iyer. I know all the blogs in IIIT and their authors (thanks to blogroll) and every room number in Old Boys Hostel till 335.

Four years ago, when I first met venki, he introduced me to Orkut.

He first showed me this picture

and I knew that it meant ‘happy’, like when I’m reading about the new Apple releases, (I plan to buy a laptop) or when I am still awake at three or four in the morning and I can walk up and down the street and pretend that I am the only person in the whole world.

Then he showed me this picture Sad

and I knew that it meant ‘Sad’, which I felt when there was no icecream in the coffee shop or worse still if the coffee shop itself was closed

Then he showed me some other pictures

but I was unable to say what they meant. That is how I got introduced to orkut. These are some of the reasons why I hate orkut

2) Its blue in color. Poison is blue in colour and I dont like poison.

3) I do not like the name ‘Orkut’. I dont want the name to mean or point to someone who created it, I want it to mean what it is. (Something like ‘Where Friends (S)Crap’ would be good !)

5) It shows that something called Occam’s razor is true. And Occam’s razor is not a razor that men shave with but a law, and it says

Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.

Which is Latin and it means

No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary

7) You might feel that hating Orkut is just being silly. Some might feel that you shouldnt say things like that and everyone has likes and dislikes. Those some are correct. You are also a bit right too. Because it is sort of being silly. But in life, you have to take lots of decisions and if you dont take decisions, you will never do anything and will spend all your time choosing being things you could do. So it is a good reason to hate somethings and you like others. It is like being a classroom where you feel like sleeping in some classes and listening to some :-?? So, you have favourite classes that you choose to sleep and others you dont, and then it is simple. I made my decision.


11) I dont like new people. If I am with a person I know, like mom, dad or friend, I have seen almost everything of them beforehand and all that I need to do is look for the things that have changed. For example, one week back, a friend of mine got a haircut and you could easily tell that it was her after noticing this change. I dont like lots of people at a place and I dont like lots of people I dont know. It is like all the people I dont know are on orkut.

13 ) On some days, there are like lots of scraps in the scrap books, and some days there are few. You might think the user did not login on that day or there was something really important, so more scraps. But, sometimes it has nothing to do with all this. It is just pure maths.

Here is the formula for the number of scraps


Where depending on the value of k, the number of scraps is decided. It means that sometimes things are so complicated that it is impossible to predict what they are going to do next, but they are only obeying really simple rules. I dont like the idea of my time spent replying the scraps to be dependent on just a constant.

Disclaimer:- This is indeed an original piece of art and if Mark Haddon, the author of ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ or anyone else claims that most of the work presented here are slight alterations or direct lifts from the book mentioned above, he is lying 😛


Reasons are usually given cardinal numbers 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 and so on. But have decided to give my points prime numbers 2 , 3 , 5 , 7 , 11 , 13 and so on because I like prime numbers. Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you can never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them

And then I realised that I had deleted my orkut account the previous day, just to see what would happen if I did that (Thanks to the jet lag and ofcourse, the free booze). and totally forgot about that…. I read ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ on my flight to California and trust me, it is a MUST READ .. And dont worry, I amnt stupid after all, read these articles 😀

http://www.bladam.com/main/entry/giving-up-on-orkut/ http://www.lifewithalacrity.com/2004/01/insecurity_at_o.html

—————————————-( I like drawing a line like this.. I can seperate the comments from my blog entry)—————————————————————-



  1. All idiotic things apart, WTF happened to UR orkut account.
    U wanted to add new entries to Ur previous post???

  2. @Cheddi : Well my orkut account went for a walk ! 😀

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